lorde: ‘life as new baby adult’

by Ang Kia Yee



i’ve come back to say that that’s what i want to be — sure of what my vision is, what it means, where it must go. i want to be conscious and alive and chill and at ease with where i am in the world, in my life

and then what will it matter then, how good i am? what will it matter what people think of me and my art and my personality and i won’t feel so small so often

that’s what i think

i am afraid of never making art good enough, or making art that is good but incomprehensible never loved until i am dead

i am no van gogh i want to be loved while i am alive